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Old 02-24-2007, 09:39 PM   #1
PsYkOsUs
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Default \\\::... Fortunate Son 07 ...::///

Quality Audio: www.myspace.com/psykosus
also a newly recorded Survivalist and Lost Souls
War Machine EP comin' soon..


\\\::... FORTUNATE SON 2007 ...::///


Live in a cage, or keep a Nine-to-Five
Minimum Wage is keepin’ crime alive
Number cursed atheists, caved-in and scarred
What’s it worth Patriot; slavin’ to starve?
Cost of Livin’s new Price on Freedom
Laws are written for whom writes off Eden
Flag’s held high, bought trust to spoil
Have Hell tried for it: blood for oil
No Education, no faith in the future
No Legislation, whole Nation is sutured
When you go against their political power
Venue’s so intense in this critical hour
Load up your rifles, keep fightin’ their war
Loathin’ and Strife ‘ll keep knifin’ the poor
Forcin’ your tongue with their Corporate Funds
That ain’t me, I’m no Fortunate Son

Cat’s in their cradle filled with Silver Spoons
Fascism: fatal, kill ‘em; pilfered soon
Last war had some dead and dismantled
Back-door Draft done let in a scandal
Bombed our buildin’s, it’s blood and ashes
Armed our children: begrudgin’ Fascists
Bold-face lies of corrupted Government
No trace, ties, or abrupt punishment
Wolf in Sheep’s Clothin’, marchin’ with Demons
Bullshit, keep hopin’ you’ll charge him with Treason
You claim it’s Justice? Take me to prison
You’ve traded Justice for Patriotism
Load up your rifles, keep fightin’ his war
Loathin’ and Strife ‘ll keep knifin’ the poor
Forcin’ your tongue with their Corporate Funds
That ain’t me, I’m no Fortunate Son

‘Homeless and rich’; but strugglin’? Never that
Votin’ as if we’re ‘Republican-Democrats’
Ugly; we’re gonna blame this whole Country
Trust me; third of the Nation goes hungry
Half of them Nam Vets; Notice a trend?
Activists, bomb-threats, explosion, and then..
Hurricanes, flooding, bodies and refugees
We’re in pain, bloodied, rotting in Leprosy
Lootin’ and gunned down by National Guard
Ruthless, none bound by rational charge
Likely with Veterans back; run for cover
Right-Wing Confederate Fascist motherfucker
Load up your rifles, keep fightin’ this war
Loathin’ and Strife ‘ll keep knifin’ the poor
Forcin’ your tongue with their Corporate Funds
That ain’t me, I’m no Fortunate Son



Copyright © 2007 Psykosus, The Soulless Survivalist
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Old 02-24-2007, 09:57 PM   #2
Bigot Hitman
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My favorite part about this piece is the bridge

Load up your rifles, keep fightin’ this war
Loathin’ and Strife ‘ll keep knifin’ the poor
Forcin’ your tongue with their Corporate Funds
That ain’t me, I’m no Fortunate Son


Its a nice technique, and would sound good over a track, like a chorus thats directly connected with verses. Any ways, the rhyme schemes started to get alittle predictible/annoying after the second verse, i would lighten up on them just alittle and rhyme just the end of the lines for a few bars, then go back to the technique where u rhymes 5 or 6 words in each line ya know. The flow was perfect, but it never seemed to get kinda unique, it was stagnant. Which is ok, but i would like to see sum kinda shit where u mix up the way u rhyme sentences like this:

No matter how hard i come, i get no feed back
I'ma do this like a donation to bill gates, i don't need that
I could be yo child hood hero, yaw'd still hate, so feel weight
Of three gats, stuffed down the pipe where u breathe at

That would make the audio flow alittle more live, different from the flow of the rest of yo verse. Which is why i say the flow is stagnant, but even. No true wordplay, which is ok, i don't understand that much politics becuz i'm just 16, an don't care about that shit yet so i can't say your metaphors were non-sense, they just don't make sense to me cuz i lack the knowledge in that area.

Overall: 9.5/10

Definetly sum of the better stuff on this site.
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Last edited by Bigot Hitman; 02-24-2007 at 10:00 PM.
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Old 02-25-2007, 01:04 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpOk3N View Post
i don't think psy needs anymore feedback from cats.

i think hhe's in a league of his own, with the lyrical content alone.

so, psy...i'll keep yo
u company soon enough...lawls.
co sign that
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Old 02-25-2007, 04:41 PM   #4
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Well maybe i didn't do it for him
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http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:24 AM   #5
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I think I listened to this track on your myspace a little while back. I'd pretty much have to agree with Spoken. I certainly can't offer any constructive criticism on this, or say anything I haven't already said about other verses or songs you've done. But yeah, you certainly didn't lower your standards any on this one.
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Old 02-26-2007, 10:33 AM   #6
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dope song and lyrics!
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