My Mates Poem (Badger)

[G...]

This is a poem written by a mate of mine, he wrote it about two years ago for a school poem, chiggity check:

Badger

Badger, badger in the night,
Asleep in the daytime light,
What do you think when asleep?
Hiding in the woods so deep.

Using leaves to build a dome,
Where you can sleep all alone,
Underneath your fluffy paws,
Lay your sharp and deadly claws.

In the dark and gloomy woods,
The big great trees act as hoods,
A badgers life - good and bad,
Some of it happy, some sad.

Remember this was written two years ago at the age of 13, regardless... all feedback is appreciated. ONE

[MASTER PAI MEI]

why dont you put this in the poetry thread???

[G...]

'Cause I wanted some more complex critique and feedback on it... what you think ben? Holla back. ONE

[MASTER PAI MEI]

It has a lonely feel to it its simple yet very deep

[G...]

Thanx for the feedback man, it's deeply appreciated. Lets get some more. ONE

[GuardianOne]

Its quite an indepth verse. And has its own imagery. Seems to provide a searching mentality,distand from most things, curious-actually notorious! But its very omnipresent. kind of dynamic.

Peace

[G...]

Yeh yeh, thanx a lot man. It's appreciated. Keep coming with the feedback. ONE

[mashqauck]

i think its sick G.

[TUCO]

Originally Posted by SpOk3N

Way TOO Simple. I like the idea of people expanding poetry, but the message was like, too obvious. Maybe 4 more lines would've even it out. Although, it is a good, creative way to make a comparison. Original, but just too simple. Tell him to make more depth to it, and have more metaphors and double meanings beneath the lines. Peace.

no homo

[J.T.S.]

I think it can have a million meanings to it, depending on how you decipher it.