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Old 10-24-2008, 06:14 PM   #31
DR. NICK RIVIERA
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Skampoe queefs under sweaty tits.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:14 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 11th Chamber View Post
hahaha. The girl is embarassed like 98% of the time, so I jus ignore it
Yeah, but let me introduce you to positive queefing...







*insert 'half baked' pun*...Make your queef go pop..pop...pop
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:16 PM   #33
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yes, you visit howard stern forums at a public library and im the one making stuff up


i get that noise sometimes but it's from air in the rubber from putting it on way wrong. I ignore it 100%, not even out or courtesy or for her or my sake, i've just never thought it as something funny, just annoying, but alot of annoying shit happens during sex like girls expecting you to take their cloths of and apply your own rubber

and accidentally inhaling whitegirl hair through your mouth

and them going down on your dick wrong

and having to talk when your BOTH LAYING IN A SEXUAL POSITION SO IDK WHY YOU TRYING TO FRONT LIKE YOU GET PAID TO LAY IN THIS POSITION AND DO NOTHING ELSE BITCH

or when a girl says something that insults your intelligence and you have to swallow your dignity and instinct to keep it real like "i get all the black guys cause of my ass" when she doesn't have a nice ass at all, just wide hips, and she 'gets all the black guys' cause she waves her twat in their face and they're male.


or when my exgirlfriend would be in pain and wanna stop cause she had a freakishly small vagina and therefore the whole thing hurt more then it should, but you keep going cause your fucking killin it dispite hyperventilation, and she does that thing where it looks like she's dead or passed out, and you think hmmmm should i check, but you keep going until you get a nut, then let her out of the car so that she can breath while holding her stomach all winded cause she's a fucking weakling from hell (sudan).
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:27 PM   #34
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this thread proves that 99% of the people in this thread are virgins
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:28 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaShaolinAssassin View Post
i get that noise sometimes but it's from air in the rubber from putting it on way wrong.

putting it on wrong?? how many way is there to put on a condom?? what are you doing, unrolling it, putting it in your ass, then having your boyfriend insert?? sorry TSA, that is the wrong way. you want to have your boyfriend put the condom on, then stick his dick in your ass

here, maybe this will help you..

this is from http://sexuality.about.com/od/contra...utoncondom.htm
  1. Check the expiration date on the condom.
    If you have a condom without an expiration date, do not use it.
  2. Carefully open the package.
    Watch out for your teeth, sharp nails, rings, or anything you might have on your hands that could damage the condom.
  3. Which side is up?
    Most condoms only roll on the penis one way. Make sure the resevoir tip (the little pointy hat part) is facing away from your penis before you put it on the tip of the penis.
  4. If you are uncircumcised, pull back your foreskin before rolling the condom on.
  5. Put the rolled-up condom over the tip of your penis.
    You should be able to see or feel the tip, and that there is space for the semen to collect.
  6. Pinch the air out of the tip of the condom.
    Doing this decreases the chances that the condom will break or burst off when you ejaculate.
  7. If you can use both your hands, use them.
    With one hand holding onto the condom at the head of your penis, use your other hand to unroll the condom all the way to the base of the penis. Make sure it is rolled all the way down the shaft.
  8. Add a little extra lubricant.
    If you're not using a pre-lubricated condom, you will probably want to add some water based lubricant to the outside of the condom. Even if you are using a lubricated condom, using extra lubricant increases sensitivity and reduces the chance of a condom breaking.
  9. Have sex!
  10. Hold on before you pull out.
    After ejaculation you should hold onto the condom at the base of your penis as you pull it out, to make sure it doesn’t slip off.
  11. Be considerate, clean up well.
    If you're looking to be extra considerate (and in case you have any pets who like to dig through your garbage) you can tie a knot in the condom so none of the contents spills out.
Tips:
  1. Putting a few drops of lubricant in the resevoir tip before you roll the condom on your penis can increase sensitivity.
  2. Please don't flush your condoms down the toilet.
or maybe this...


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Old 10-24-2008, 06:30 PM   #36
food for thought
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^ LOL at TSA trying to prove he gets pussy
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:38 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Art Vandelay View Post
putting it on wrong?? how many way is there to put on a condom?? what are you doing, unrolling it, putting it in your ass, then having your boyfriend insert?? sorry TSA, that is the wrong way. you want to have your boyfriend put the condom on, then stick his dick in your ass

here, maybe this will help you..

this is from http://sexuality.about.com/od/contra...utoncondom.htm
  1. Check the expiration date on the condom.
    If you have a condom without an expiration date, do not use it.
  2. Carefully open the package.
    Watch out for your teeth, sharp nails, rings, or anything you might have on your hands that could damage the condom.
  3. Which side is up?
    Most condoms only roll on the penis one way. Make sure the resevoir tip (the little pointy hat part) is facing away from your penis before you put it on the tip of the penis.
  4. If you are uncircumcised, pull back your foreskin before rolling the condom on.
  5. Put the rolled-up condom over the tip of your penis.
    You should be able to see or feel the tip, and that there is space for the semen to collect.
  6. Pinch the air out of the tip of the condom.
    Doing this decreases the chances that the condom will break or burst off when you ejaculate.
  7. If you can use both your hands, use them.
    With one hand holding onto the condom at the head of your penis, use your other hand to unroll the condom all the way to the base of the penis. Make sure it is rolled all the way down the shaft.
  8. Add a little extra lubricant.
    If you're not using a pre-lubricated condom, you will probably want to add some water based lubricant to the outside of the condom. Even if you are using a lubricated condom, using extra lubricant increases sensitivity and reduces the chance of a condom breaking.
  9. Have sex!
  10. Hold on before you pull out.
    After ejaculation you should hold onto the condom at the base of your penis as you pull it out, to make sure it doesn’t slip off.
  11. Be considerate, clean up well.
    If you're looking to be extra considerate (and in case you have any pets who like to dig through your garbage) you can tie a knot in the condom so none of the contents spills out.
Tips:
  1. Putting a few drops of lubricant in the resevoir tip before you roll the condom on your penis can increase sensitivity.
  2. Please don't flush your condoms down the toilet.
or maybe this...



That shit's way too complicated.

Try my simple 2-step 100%-guaranteed program:

Step 1: Never wear a condom.
Step 2: Repeat.
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I'm sorry? Negro English? I think you mean Ebonics.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:41 PM   #38
food for thought
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^ fuckin idiot
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:42 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irondan1 View Post
That shit's way too complicated.

Try my simple 2-step 100%-guaranteed program:

Step 1: Never wear a condom.
Step 2: Repeat.
shit introduce me to your women

im on like a 6 girl streak that has made me wrap up
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:44 PM   #40
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:52 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Art Vandelay View Post
TSA sounds like the dude in 40 year old virgin when he is trying to make shit up to make it sound like he knows about sex then he gets busted on it.

I 2nd this
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:53 PM   #42
food for thought
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uh , what they said. ^
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Old 10-24-2008, 08:34 PM   #43
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A queef is the vagina's way of thanking you for a job well done. Kind of like applause. Bravo!!!
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Old 10-24-2008, 08:40 PM   #44
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id prefer a pancake after tho with a protein shake to replenish my specimen levels
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Old 10-24-2008, 08:46 PM   #45
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^^ Hahahahahaah!!!! ^^

A'comin right up!
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