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Old 09-05-2005, 12:57 PM   #16
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

womens rights
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Old 09-05-2005, 02:59 PM   #17
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

here,...some chic go's to the porn shop an see's a dildo, she asks what brand it is an all that shit an the store clerk said iit's called "magic dildo"......she was like "go ahead, say fuck my pussy magic dildo an it will"
so the horny chic says fuck my pussy magic dildo an boom, magic dildo went to town on that pussy. so she fell in love with the dildo an took it home,..."fuck my pussy magic dildo" is what she said all day long.
so she hops in bed an says "honey, i gotta suprise, wanna get freaky as hell or what?"
dudes like "huh", while hopping in bed an then the bitch says "look, it's a magic dildo,...it follows all my commands.."
guy say "yeah right"
an she says "its the best dildo on earth, an it is a magic dildo"
so the guy (gettin a lil tired of the dildo) says "magic dildo my ass,..let's just....."
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:24 PM   #18
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper1134
How many Jaspers does it take to lift a medium sized car?

Just one, cause I started training today. Ha!



fuck
Good shit, the Jaspernator...
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:27 PM   #19
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Today I did a 50 push ups and then 55. Also, I lent my uncles weights (kick boxer) and lifted them for 15 minutes and a few hours later 25 minutes or something
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:31 PM   #20
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Chest only today?
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:34 PM   #21
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

there once was a big wall,dat u jump ova and as soon as u jump ova da wall u make a wish and u land in it, on da other side of da wall.so there was a blak man, a spanish man,a azn man,and a white man. da blak man jumpz ova and wishes 4 gurlz, and he lands in gurlz. the spanish guyz jumpz ova and wishes 4 money,and he lands in money.da azn man, jumpz ova and wishes 4 a convertible and he landz in da convertiable,den da white man jumpz ova and he hitz his ankle on da wall and says: "awww,shit!", and he landz in shit.
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:41 PM   #22
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Bad Man
Chest only today?
Arms and chest. They're arm weight. I could probably do a lot more training... would that have a positive outcome?
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:44 PM   #23
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Just remembered this 1...

A Jap, an Indian and a Liberian get their British passports and go seek employment. Fortunately a local construction firm take on minorities by the dozens and so the 3 dudes start workin on a new project. They meet the foreman, he explains about health and safety, gets their clothes n equipment, meet the bhoys and start on a wall.

Liberian is told he has to start a base, and make sure the everything is exactly as on the plans, before adding bricks. Indian is to work the cement. And the Jap has the responsibility of managing the supplies.

So they get to work, and are doing well, when they notice they waiting a bit longer than expected on the bricks n cement, and find the Jap is nowhere to be seen. So the Indian and Liberian continue grafting out a hard days work doing the Japs bits as well.

End of the day comes and they meet up at the yard, with the foreman asking about the Jap. Of course they dont have a clue where he is. So they wait 30 mins n he still doesnt show. Off they go home. They arrive at the van they came in, foreman driving em home, he opens the back door to put his shit in and the Jap busts out shoutin "SUPPLIES!"
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:46 PM   #24
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper1134
Arms and chest. They're arm weight. I could probably do a lot more training... would that have a positive outcome?
Long as you keep the total of trainin under an hour. 50 mins if poss. Over that your testo levels drop and you wind up burnin muscle rather than building it. No good ma man.
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Old 09-05-2005, 04:50 PM   #25
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

My urge to rape preteens was a lot smaller after training. Does that mean I'm overdoing it?
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Old 09-05-2005, 05:14 PM   #26
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper1134
My urge to rape preteens was a lot smaller after training. Does that mean I'm overdoing it?
Nah, ur doin fine then Keep it up.
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Old 09-05-2005, 05:22 PM   #27
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

I did it anyway, but I never came.

Then I went home and jacked off and drank my own semen for protein. No wait hold on
I'm joking. I'm not gay, obviously.

Ha, I'm building muscles like uhm..like a... person who is muscular..
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Old 09-05-2005, 08:49 PM   #28
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Old 09-05-2005, 08:50 PM   #29
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^^^ LMAO!!! thats foul

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Old 09-05-2005, 09:43 PM   #30
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Default Re: funny ass joke thread, check it

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColombianMami
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
that's a fucking good one
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