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09-14-2005, 01:28 AM
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#1 |
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Zu Keeper
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ogden,Utah
Age: 22
Posts: 1,091
Rep Power: 9  |
hey yo check this shit!
http://www.wutangcorp.com/showthread...page=134&pp=10
me and god concept at it what you think of my rhymes?
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  "Robbed of natural abilities In death they now seek tranquility In a confused state of mind Extending agony,they must be blind" |
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09-14-2005, 03:41 AM
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#2 |
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Priority.Is.Makin.Paper
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NEW PHILIPPINES aka UPTOWN
Age: 27
Posts: 5,384
Rep Power: 22    |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
 and the method man quote in your sig is fuckin wrong... u cant even hear lyrics properly u fuckin inbred? u suck at erryting
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09-14-2005, 11:36 AM
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#3 |
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Zu Keeper
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ogden,Utah
Age: 22
Posts: 1,091
Rep Power: 9 |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
well then what do you think it says bitch!
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"Robbed of natural abilities In death they now seek tranquility In a confused state of mind Extending agony,they must be blind" |
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09-14-2005, 04:40 PM
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#5 |
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aka Loc Daddy Supreme
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 30
Posts: 2,959
Rep Power: 24 |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
Generally when I give feed I try to say something constructive, but that was just straight wack. Every single line was either the most basic, obvious shit possible, or an abused cliche. My honest advice would be to focus a hell of a lot more when writing, try to think of something even half original, or don't write at all.
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09-15-2005, 02:20 AM
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#6 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Age: 31
Posts: 45
Rep Power: 0 |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
R U kidding me? youre weak son/ dont even try/ im like a gullotine comode/ kiss your ass goodbye/ your rhymes are played out/ gayed out, fictional hoe/ more faggot than an annual parade thru the Castro/ Oh you don't know, that's Frisco, dogg I come from the Yay/ go head and clap back, Ja, and make my day/ fuck subliminal thats wack son/ i'm callin out names/ you crack me up 7 ambassador/ with all ya false claims/ its a shame that niggas like this all cocky and shit/ but when its all said n done got my cock on their lips/ check my stipes dun/ im bout it but I aint Master P/ fuck that youre gayer than Ja/ change your name to 50/ you aint ambassador of shit/ what you tryin to rep?/ My niggas WU already warned ya ass protect ya fuckin neck/ even if I lose I'll go at anybody on the fuckin net/ dry rhymes? /try mines/ I'll leave your whole persona wet...
but on some serious shit..it's all good mayn...I don't really know shit about you...it's all part of the battle...but regardless i'll still take the beef..slaughter you like cattle..J/P 1 love |
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09-15-2005, 08:59 AM
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#7 |
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Priceless:The Modern IsIs
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 815
Rep Power: 12 |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
well .................
  .................... not yet ... but keep tryin' .............. practice makes perfect lil' homie  Peace
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 I sew... beautiful seeds that sprout flowers that’s deeply rooted your weak style-diluted with concepts that’s so polluted my words flourish, creating jewels the conscious will cherish ... -- Dae Ja Nae http://www.soundclick.com/daejanae http://wutangcorp.com/showthread.php?t=11503 |
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09-15-2005, 03:42 PM
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#8 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Age: 31
Posts: 45
Rep Power: 0 |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
Yeah..I know I'm weak...thought I'd give it a try though ...never was an MC, never will be...my beats are a different story though..i'm tryin to post them in the audio section..but thanks for the constructive criticism..XXL could prolly quote my ass in "Step your rap game up"!
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09-15-2005, 03:48 PM
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#9 |
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LyRiCaL sHiNoBi
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Las Vegas
Age: 24
Posts: 1,897
Rep Power: 12 |
Re: hey yo check this shit!
i just wasted 5 minutes of my life im neva gonna get back...
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 Tables Turn..Which Made it Worse, Engaged N' Searched.. for a Way ta' Learn, how ta Take tha' Curse of the Weight of Earth Incase it Curved, and Strained my Nervous System.. Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom |
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