Love & Marriage

[GZAjector]

good to see infinity








i been married about 2 years now, little girl about to be born in like a week and a half


it's fuckin tough sometimes tho, especially in this day and age i'll tell you
through the thick and thin we been in in such a short period of time, and it could get worse at any moment, but i'm doing what i gotta do for the kids. all about the kids.

which, 20 years down the line, when the kids are grown and moved or moving on, leaves alot of people really looking at each other and wondering if they did the right thing staying with each other, i suppose.
cuz honestly there are certain times when i wonder what the fuck i'm doing with anyone monogamously, let alone this great woman who wanted to be with me forever. i know that at this point everything i do is for my the kids, especially my unborn. but probably pretty much the only way i wouldn't be with my wife is if one of us cheated.






i dunno, maybe i'll could contribute some real wisdom about married life 5-10 years from now, i'm sure we'll all still be here amirite ha

for now though, in ways i'm still like a fuckin youngin forreal. but i'm pushing 30, and while i ain't gotta grow up at heart, i still gotta show responsibility and do the right things.
which is easy to write, but alot harder to do in real life, just gotta try.



i'm all for marriage tho.


but having kids should require a license, because there's a rack of people out there who shouldn't procreate lol

[Charles Barry]

I think the biggest problem with marriage is the legalities that are involved. Instead of it being about a sacred bond between woman and man, most people just view it as "something to do". If the marriage doesn't work out it's no big deal because they can just go sign some papers for a divorce and they're on to the next relationship. It's sad what marriage and the family has become, especially in the black community.

I think marriage is a wonderful thing, but I will personally never do it in the legal sense. If I tell a woman that she's the one I want to be with, she is wifey as far as I'm concerned. I don't need any paper to confirm that. People need to be more selective in their relationships and make sure they're building something with the right person. Choosing to be with one person is a huge commitment and marriage is something that takes a lot of work and sacrifice. It shouldn't be something that you do haphazardly.

[KaramelSundae]

gzajector and charles are right...


marriage is hard work.

and its really sad
it isnt what it used to be.
instead of divorcing
you gotta really be sure its something you both want to do
you gotta go in it 100%

and i believe that EVERYONE
should live with their significant other before marriage
because like my mama said
you dont really know someone until you've lived with them...
on the other hand my godmother tells me
doesnt matter because if your marrying this person,
your gonna marry them because you like everything about them
good or bad...both are true i guess

[LORD NOSE]

the more you know someone, the more reasons you'll have to not like them or like them - you'll find out more as time goes - its how you handle your new findings that will determine if you'll break the bond or not - and to be bonded for a long period of time then separating is a very painful process - some people never recover from it -
its a womans nature to want and even demand stability in her mate and most men don't understand this - they don't know how to handle it -

[KaramelSundae]

you're absolutely right.

[STYLE]

i went from single bachelor to two kids (infant and 8 yo) a wife and a house in less than a year.

we never lived together but we were deeply in love and we foolishly thought that love was enough.

well after the afterglow of marrige and a new baby wore off we realized we weren't what eachother expected. i guess thats part of it too. talking about expectations.


i feel bad cause both my parents had a mom and dad till the past 4 years.
my mom and dad have been bf/gf since the 8th fuckin grade(retarded i know) and been married for 35+years.

now here comes gavin breaking the chain of matrimony. but like sunny said and 3000 "thank god for mom and dad stickin true together cause we don't know how"-heyaa

NOBODY talked to me about marriage. my dads just asked me "are you sure?"
everyoneelse was too happy that the wild confirmed bachelor was settling down. (i was known as the diff girl for each day of the week guy in the family. pimp status)

but fuck it.

i already know i will get remarried. i like being married. that life partner hell or high water thing is the shit. but this time around i'll know what the fuck i'm doing.

[LORD NOSE]

yo - try it again ^ try the marriage again

__________________________________________________ _______



space is key also - too much cuddling in bed.....can't get no real sleep like that - small apartment at first - have a schedule - and if you a man, go to work - even if she make bank, you would look stupid asking her for 5 dollars for some little debbies and chips from the store - and understand that she is at her most vulnerable state when she is pregnant or with infant - she needs to have a stable environment and know that she and child will be protected and fed - if you got to get on the bus with stroller and baby, she'll look at you funny - and make you feel like the punk you are - and you'll confirm that youare a punk if you beef with her about it too

[LORD NOSE]

[Charles Barry]

Sunny, how long you been married?

[Rollo]

I don't really believe in marriage as we understand it now, to me marriage is was and always will be the joining of people in a permanent domestic role.

As for when I want to settle down, I don't know.
I don't date around a lot as it is, so I don't give it much thought.

I don't think anything my parents(I use that term loosely in regard to my father, my moth was my only real parent) did with one another will have anything to do with my actions.
I blocked them out of my life a long time ago and they were more like strangers living in the same house as me.



As for arranged marriages, as long as there is no intent to harm the other person, I really have no problem with them.

[KaramelSundae]

i mean i think love needs to be there obiviously

a lot of people stay together for the kids
which is a good idea

but when you really think about it
if you guys dont like each other
and can't stand each other

i think its a waste of time
stop faking it and move on
the kids will have to learn
and in this day and age
its divorce is more common than marriage
which is very very sad

but really dont keep yourself
from being with the one your truly supposed to be with...


but i guess i'd change my mind about it
if i were in that situation
and if i had bambinos

[LORD NOSE]

[Face of the Golden Falcon]

Originally Posted by KaramelSundae

i mean i think love needs to be there obiviously

a lot of people stay together for the kids
which is a good idea

but when you really think about it
if you guys dont like each other
and can't stand each other

i think its a waste of time
stop faking it and move on
the kids will have to learn
and in this day and age
its divorce is more common than marriage
which is very very sad

but really dont keep yourself
from being with the one your truly supposed to be with...


but i guess i'd change my mind about it
if i were in that situation
and if i had bambinos

How do you know who your supposed to be with?

Most people have the mind set that "the one" will bring you nothing but joy and happiness. That life will be a fairytale. And when life doesn't turn out to be "happily ever after", they claim the love is gone and they want out.

Love never goes anywhere. If it was there to begin with then it still is. Love is unconditional.

IMO "the one" is the person who helps you grow and you help them grow. What's the point of being with someone who likes everything you like, has the same opinion as you all the time, but never challenges you.

I know me and my Queen are supposed to be together because it's hard got damn work being together. But if we weren't then I wouldn't be the man I am and am becoming.

That being said you have to have a strong foundation. You can't face the challenges of being together, together, if you don't both want to grow and mature.

SHEM HETEP

[KaramelSundae]

i agree...


but like for some people i know
who are in that situation
obiviously that person isn't the one

and like you said it has to be someone who will ride it out with you
together as a team you overcome whatever it is you gotta get through
thats who you gotta be with
someone that helps you become a better person
it takes two
cuz we all know you cant change someone who doesnt wanna change.

like i have a friend who got married just cuz her mom forced her to
she said "your not bringing this baby into the world without being married"
end of story.
she knew she didnt wanna get married and she knew she didnt wanna be with him
yet she did it anyways
thats probably stupidity on her part for going through it
but situations like that is what im referring too.

[Ol' Dirty Trixˣ]

i don't feel that marriage should be forced on anyone, it should only happen if both partners are in love and want to be together.

i used to be against the idea of arranged marriages, but not all arranged marriages are the same. the marriages where the male and female have the final choice of who they get married to are fine by me.

i have mixed feelings about marriage. i want to get married but i'm scared of risking marriage with someone who's just going to run out on me and break my heart.