once upon a time in shaolin - buy the book now!
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: The Karate Kid: Cobra Kai

  1. #1

    Default The Karate Kid: Cobra Kai


  2. #2
    French kissing in the USA Hal Incandenza's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17,134
    Rep Power
    80

    Default

    Hahaha I wanna see this. Looks good.

  3. #3
    80's artificial intelligence bucko Max Chinroom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Meet Me At The MAX
    Posts
    49,399
    Rep Power
    10

    Default

    It would be better if this script was written by a dark hearted person

    Johnny is struggling with his opioid addiction and alcoholism. He drinks King Cobra 40ounces from sun up to sun down and sometimes gets a gig off craigslist to put up sheetrock so he can buy more pills from a crooked doctor played by Kevin Spacey. Johhny blackmails the doctor into selling pills at a discount once a week in a back alley because he caught him raping a teenage boy in a Jimmy Johns restroom.

    The doctor eventually dies from Super Aids.

    Johnny's source is now cut off.

    He lands a sheetrocking gig that with an unexpected twist. The jobsite is a mansion being built for a white collar soon-2-be appointed VP of Pfizer.

    This man is Daniel, his long time arch enemy.

    Daniel apparently has it all. Big house, exotic sports cars, pool, and a slutty asian ex-porn star wife. However Johnny doesn't envy him for those things.

    What he really wants is the key card Daniel possesses that can open the doors to any Pfizer pill plant in the country.

    The addiction grows stronger and so does Johnny's muscular physique. He's raging off anabolic steroids and dead lifting at LA fitness to blow off steam. Sometimes he watches Ellen on the tv screens.

    By now he's killed at least 19 hookers in various seedy motels around the city limits. He drinks their vaginal blood hoping to get trace amounts of opiates when the cravings are too much.

    Eventually he hatches a plan to break into Daniel's freshly built compound. He knows every nook and cranny because he photo copied the architect's blue prints and installed remotely activated pin hole cameras.

    Daniel has just settled in for the night after eating a salmon, asparagus, and wild rice dinner he ordered from Amazon's grocery service. The UPS worker who dropped it off is played by J.B. Smoove and says something really witty about white people foods.

    Daniel is now in the living room watching Horrible Bosses 2. He's actually laughing at it. Johnny is perched like a mantis on the bird bath in the courtyard.

    Johnny figures better strike while the iron is hot. The wife is currently in Fiji with her gay personal trainer.

    Johnny double front flips through the picture window and glass explodes everywhere. Daniel leaps up shrieking like a 12 yr old boy.

    "SIT DOWN KARATE CUCK!!" Johnny roars.

    Daniel does as commanded with a horrified expression on his face.

    Johnny calmy explains he only wants the security key card.

    Daniel explains it will be useless because it requires dual-factor biometric authentication to work. Either a retinal or finger print scan.

    Johnny's patience has worn thin. He becomes enraged. Then suddenly he thinks "what if I become Daniel?"

    Johnny grabs the bowstaff mounted above the fireplace mantle and rectally impales Daniel. The former Karate Kid's entrails start to pour out all over floor. It takes about 45 mins for all the organs to plop out on the carpet, so Johnny finishes watching Horrible Bosses 2.

    Johnny now has his skin suit.

    He finds a crooked LA plastic surgeon (played by Chris Owen) to stitch it to his body days later.

    Johnny now assumes the role of Daniel and takes his place in society. The wife is so drugged up when returning from Fiji she doesn't notice.

    A week later Johnny walks into the Corporate Pfizer boardroom to sign some legal paperwork with his lawyer for his new role of acting Vice President.

    The other high level management in the room says "So Daniel have you met the newly appointed CEO who you will answer to yet?"

    Daniel mutters "no".

    An old Japanese man slowly enters the boardroom in a wheel chair. It's Mr. Miyagi.

    Johnny in his skin suit leans down to shake Miyagi's hand.

    Miyagi whispers "We did it Johnny, we are unstoppable now."

    Then Miyagi winks and rolls on out.


    credits roll.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dooch View Post
    Weak erections and watery nut.

  4. #4

  5. #5
    French kissing in the USA Hal Incandenza's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17,134
    Rep Power
    80

    Default

    Haha.

  6. #6

    Default Cobra Kai - 2018

    This is a 30 year follow-up to the original Karate Kid Trilogy. It probably got it's influence from a great youtube video plot twist written and narrated by J. Matthew Turner https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Gz_iTuRMM

    It's cheesy and funny and worth a lazy afternoon watch. William Zabka aka "Johnny Law" actually gives a great, funny performance. The whole time I'm rooting for Johnny to turn his life around and be victorious in the end. Reviewers call him an "anti-hero." The show starts off with Jonny Law living a loser life, never having recovered from the end of Karate Kid III. He works lowly construction jobs and gets fired and hits rock bottom. Then he rescues some kid getting beat up by bullies. The kid asks him to teach him karate so the dude reopens Cobra Kai in his 40's drinking coors light and only having one student. The dojo doesn't have enough revenue and he is about to have to close, but then his only student, who used to be bullied, fights back against the bullies in the lunch room and it goes viral then like 30 kids want to go to cobra kai. The whole time Daniel Larusso went on to be a rich guy in town who owned a bunch of car dealerships and Larusso and Johnny run into each other again and it restarts a rivalry. It's a fun watch. I've only watched part of season 1 so far.



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rB36UGoP4Y

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SonicRingz View Post
    It would be better if this script was written by a dark hearted person

    Johnny is struggling with his opioid addiction and alcoholism. He drinks King Cobra 40ounces from sun up to sun down and sometimes gets a gig off craigslist to put up sheetrock so he can buy more pills from a crooked doctor played by Kevin Spacey. Johhny blackmails the doctor into selling pills at a discount once a week in a back alley because he caught him raping a teenage boy in a Jimmy Johns restroom.

    The doctor eventually dies from Super Aids.

    Johnny's source is now cut off.

    He lands a sheetrocking gig that with an unexpected twist. The jobsite is a mansion being built for a white collar soon-2-be appointed VP of Pfizer.

    This man is Daniel, his long time arch enemy.

    Daniel apparently has it all. Big house, exotic sports cars, pool, and a slutty asian ex-porn star wife. However Johnny doesn't envy him for those things.

    What he really wants is the key card Daniel possesses that can open the doors to any Pfizer pill plant in the country.

    The addiction grows stronger and so does Johnny's muscular physique. He's raging off anabolic steroids and dead lifting at LA fitness to blow off steam. Sometimes he watches Ellen on the tv screens.

    By now he's killed at least 19 hookers in various seedy motels around the city limits. He drinks their vaginal blood hoping to get trace amounts of opiates when the cravings are too much.

    Eventually he hatches a plan to break into Daniel's freshly built compound. He knows every nook and cranny because he photo copied the architect's blue prints and installed remotely activated pin hole cameras.

    Daniel has just settled in for the night after eating a salmon, asparagus, and wild rice dinner he ordered from Amazon's grocery service. The UPS worker who dropped it off is played by J.B. Smoove and says something really witty about white people foods.

    Daniel is now in the living room watching Horrible Bosses 2. He's actually laughing at it. Johnny is perched like a mantis on the bird bath in the courtyard.

    Johnny figures better strike while the iron is hot. The wife is currently in Fiji with her gay personal trainer.

    Johnny double front flips through the picture window and glass explodes everywhere. Daniel leaps up shrieking like a 12 yr old boy.

    "SIT DOWN KARATE CUCK!!" Johnny roars.

    Daniel does as commanded with a horrified expression on his face.

    Johnny calmy explains he only wants the security key card.

    Daniel explains it will be useless because it requires dual-factor biometric authentication to work. Either a retinal or finger print scan.

    Johnny's patience has worn thin. He becomes enraged. Then suddenly he thinks "what if I become Daniel?"

    Johnny grabs the bowstaff mounted above the fireplace mantle and rectally impales Daniel. The former Karate Kid's entrails start to pour out all over floor. It takes about 45 mins for all the organs to plop out on the carpet, so Johnny finishes watching Horrible Bosses 2.

    Johnny now has his skin suit.

    He finds a crooked LA plastic surgeon (played by Chris Owen) to stitch it to his body days later.

    Johnny now assumes the role of Daniel and takes his place in society. The wife is so drugged up when returning from Fiji she doesn't notice.

    A week later Johnny walks into the Corporate Pfizer boardroom to sign some legal paperwork with his lawyer for his new role of acting Vice President.

    The other high level management in the room says "So Daniel have you met the newly appointed CEO who you will answer to yet?"

    Daniel mutters "no".

    An old Japanese man slowly enters the boardroom in a wheel chair. It's Mr. Miyagi.

    Johnny in his skin suit leans down to shake Miyagi's hand.

    Miyagi whispers "We did it Johnny, we are unstoppable now."

    Then Miyagi winks and rolls on out.


    credits roll.
    Brilliant

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •